missing someone you know you can’t build a normal friendship with is tough.

tonight could be filed under reasons why i have been avoiding you since you came home, meeeep

if a boy ever serenaded me it would be a done deal

my photobooth =

50% photoshoots of me w/ various pets

50% me making a face with a fake mustache

had some of my best friends from home come visit for the weekend and it was lovely :) i have the best times w/ them, even when we aren’t doing anything at all. yesterday was perfect - we got ahhhmazing bagels for bfast, came back to my house to drink and smoke hookah, went to see MGMT, had family dinner and then drank more before going to see dopapod! my favorite nights always involve lots of dancing.

AND some cute bearded boy was dancin’ next to me and started chatting me up, and asked me for my number! and i ran into some kid that i met @ a party last semester and he wound up getting my number and saying we should hang out sometime soon. the things that happen when i actually go out and don’t hang out with the same boys over and over! haha

one of the most frustrating things in the world is caring about someone way more than you know you should

i don’t think anything could ever make me happier than drawing, drinking tea, and listening to music :)

lmao soo

my school has this fb group called “UVM confessions” and today someone posted on it calling me out, saying “Katy (enter my last name here), I’ve been checking you out since the first day of classes this semester. I’ve been too shy to do much besides steal glances but definitely hope to run into you under the right circumstances!”

fucking adorable.

sometimes i wish i didn’t have my guard up - what amazing things could have happened in the past if i just took a second to say how i really felt

no longer caring/thinking of boys ever as of MEEEEEEOW. focusing on me ‘cause i’m awesome.

lesson learned from my drunken outings. even though everyone told me the opposite of this basically hahaha i can’t deal w/ feelings so whuteva NIGHT

no matter how much time passes, it still feels weird finding out your ex is dating someone else. a lot of times i wish we didn’t have the same best friends so i wouldn’t have to see him all the time/see the girls he’s going to inevitably bring around. being friends with an ex is so strange. and to think i nearly said yes over winter break when he said there were still residual feelings and he wanted to try and work things out. i knew i was gonna wind up falling for him so quickly again and was so conflicted as to whether we even work well together since we’re so emotionally different…..so i just told him it wouldn’t turn out any differently. i’m so bad at handling feelings, and i’m really just waiting for the day when i actually make the right choice when it comes to pushing someone away/letting them into my life. i haven’t been in a place to develop feelings, or want to at all, probably……since we broke up a year ago haha i’ve been so overwhelmed w/ stress, that i couldn’t do anything besides focus on myself because i was so fuckin’ lost. but now i figured all my shit out and feel like myself again

edit: maybe i just miss my best friend and when we were good together (which was a lot) 

feeling replaced has got to be one of the worst feelings.

constantly thinking about the same 3 boys from this past year and how much of an idiot i was w/ each haha, all i can do is laugh @ myself because i’m not even surprised. i am soo bad @ dealing w/ any kind of emotional attachment, it’s kind of concerning at times hahah