This whole dating my car salesman thing is getting too real….I mean, I wanna have fun and I like you, but you’re 30 and I don’t wanna get legitimately wifed??? What have I done
my greatest accomplishment in this past year has been getting to a point where i genuinely just do not give a fuck about what anyone else thinks anymore. it’s so refreshing to take risks and have my only thought be, “well, what’s there to lose?”
ONE FINAL, TWO PAPERS, ONE SEMESTER OBSERVATION/PROJECTION WRAP UP, TWO DAYS, LOTS OF PACKING, ONE NIGHT OF MASSIVE DRINKING, AND ONE LONG CAR RIDE BETWEEN ME AND HOME!!!!!!!!!
putting on my big girl pants and powering through ~
all i want is a glass of wine on my couch snuggling my pup :”)
Today the preschoolers blocked me into the dramatic play area with chairs and told me I couldn’t leave jail until I started making better choices
I think it’s funny when people describe me as ‘confident’ or ‘calm, cool and collected’, because I actually have the worst anxiety.
~*fake it til you make it *~
Got proposed to by a preschooler today 💍 except it was less like a proposal and more of a “I like you, you’re marrying me”
Waking up to your friends talking about you in the other room. Honestly so sick of this misconstrued bullshit. I don’t mind being the person you vent to, but I understand that those conversations are private and don’t mention them to anyone else. The fact that I’m there to listen and support you when you’re upset and then you bring up YOUR OWN CONCERNS to the other person as if I was the one that had them….sorry but I don’t think you realize how un-phased I am. It makes me sad that I feel like I can’t say anything to two of my best friends here without them mentioning it to the other person (but usually in the most misinterpreted way, which I then hear them talking about when they think I can’t hear them). I don’t care if people that I don’t really know have problems with me, but when I overhear people that I’m supposedly really close to make statements about me that just aren’t me at all, it fucking irks me. /rant
thank glob, praise jeebus, that i had a legit trajectory for my research this semester. so many girls in my room figured out what they wanted to do late in the semester or it didn’t play out. from the start of the semester, i’ve been exploring physics with my pre-school gremlins, with marble run construction/design, and ramp construction/design….which has now started to develop into exploring what tire tracks look like, why they might look different, if different weight cars would have different tires, etc etc.
these children are literally baby geniuses and i am so blessed to have gone through such a long term, juicy research experience with all of them. kind of excited to share all of my artifacts, photos, and observations from the last 4 months with all their parents…..which is weird, because i usually have such terrible stage fright, i lose the ability to speak English
i love feeling so passionate about something. and i love coming home, even on the terrible days, when i am soso frustrated, and feeling like i am WORKING TOWARDS SOMETHING.
i don’t know what it is, but i can’t handle school this semester. i love my internship, and i love being with the kids, and i love feeling like i’m really working towards something. but as soon as i leave, it’s like i shut down. i got off track with school and i was having anxiety/BED issues, and i thought i finally started to get my shit back together, but i wound up right back where i started.
i’m missing maybe 4 or so reading reflections. i have to retake a test. i just withdrew from a class. i got straight A’s last semester taking 18 credits and i was happy. i was busy, so so busy, but i did well and i had fun. i don’t know what it is. this happens to me every spring semester here. i honestly think it’s the shitty vermont winter, and how cloudy and frigid it is. i barely ever see the sun. this is the eternal winter from hell.
completely dreading explaining anything to my advisor when i have a meeting with her on thursday. can you just let me withdraw and not ask questions? can i not talk about feelings?? ever????
signing up for nannying websites….if i’m spending this summer at home with barely any friends around, i’m making sure i’m doing it productively.
dominican, wwoofing, ice cream scoopin’/nannying, gym membership. READYSETGO
why do i do this to myself :( ugh
today i had a mid-semester evaluation w/ my team at the preschool. everyone went around and said one acknowledgement for each person, and then you had to come up for something that you wanted to work on.
everyone in my team commented on my ability to follow through and stand my ground. it was really strange to hear them say they were jealous of what they described as my “confidence”, because my own perception of myself is completely different. i don’t think i’d ever choose the word confident to describe myself. i can’t really think of a time when i’m not feeling unsure of what i’m doing. but i guess i’m fooling the world and coming off like i think i know what i’m doing hahah so that’s good.
every extra day that i spend in that classroom makes me wish that i had applied to work there over the summer. i am going to miss my preschool babies so much, and i have been blessed with the most amazing group of coworkers and mentors. i started the year not knowing anyone in the early ed track, and now i work with a group of girls who i love to death and have connected with beyond what i ever expected. i am so grateful for the tremendous amount of support that i get from them and my mentors every day. i can’t believe that in a month, it will be all over.